


Seven-leven

by Charon_the_Sabercat



Category: Layton Brothers: Mystery Room, Layton Kyouju Series | Professor Layton Series, Layton Kyouju vs Gyakuten Saiban | Professor Layton vs. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, 逆転裁判 | Gyakuten Saiban | Ace Attorney
Genre: Family AU where Hershel Layton and Phoenix Wright married and made a really big blended family, Family Bonding, Family Dynamics, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:07:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27083839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charon_the_Sabercat/pseuds/Charon_the_Sabercat
Summary: Hershel Layton and Phoenix Wright are married. They have a LOT of children to take care of.One of those children is Maya, unofficially. At least it feels like it sometimes.This is them going to a 7-11 at two in the morning for instant noodles.
Relationships: Hershel Layton/Naruhodou Ryuuichi | Phoenix Wright
Comments: 7
Kudos: 22





	1. Mornings are Evil

**Author's Note:**

> Based on an AU semi-shared between me and a good friend. Ages of the kids are ambiguous, but the oldest is Maya at college-age and the youngest is Katrielle as a babbling toddler.

Waking up early every morning gave Phoenix a sort-of feel for when it was without having to look at the clock. Sometimes he could even see a clock in his dreams and the time would be right. It was right on the line between handy and uncanny. So when he started hearing Maya talking to him in his dream, and his dream clock on the back of a dream turtle read 2:45 a.m., he hoped it was just a weird fluke. But Maya kept talking, and his grip on sleep weakened in word-by-word increments until it slipped him completely.

He was back in his bed, in the dark, in the early morning. Hershel was still asleep on the far side of the mattress, but here he was awake, with Maya in the room and watching him. He could only just see her in the light cast by the open bedroom door. She had taken her hair down for the night, but was still dressed.

She smiled at him. “Morning, Nick.”

He checked the clock. 2:12 a.m.

He reached out to pull Maya’s face to his for a hug with his closer arm. “Maya… Maya, Maya, Maya my dear… _what the hell_?”

Maya whispered into his ear. “Nick I saw the coolest thing on TV. We gotta go!”

“It’s two in the morning. You’re gonna wake the kids.”

“No, don’t worry, they never went to bed in the first place.”

Oh, that bubble of dread in his gut woke him up almost the rest of the way. His hug squeezed into a threatening, but sleepy headlock that made Maya giggle. “Please don’t tell me you kept a toddler awake until two in the morning.”

“No, she napped! But once we started the H.R. Pufnstuf marathon everybody got all excited-”

“Mayaaaa...” What were these words coming out of her mouth? What was a puffin stuff? Why was his entire family awake? “What are you… go to bed.”

“But Niiiiick, there’s a 7-11 with a ramen cooker machine within walking distance!”

It always came back to food with Maya. Wasn’t she due for her metabolism slowdown yet? “We have pot noodles here.”

“No we don’t. We ate them all yesterday.”

“You mean a few hours ago?”

“Yes.”

“Then cook something.”

“You’re not getting it, Nick! It’s a machine that cooks the ramen for you and you can get whatever toppings you want in the topping counter-”

Someone’s stomach growled. Phoenix couldn’t tell whose, but Maya perked right up. “Morning, professor.”

Hershel stirred in his covers. “Phoenix, it would be ungentlemanly to let a young lady walk alone at night.”

He was too sleepy to argue with words, so instead Phoenix groaned into his pillow.

“Are the children all up?” Hershel asked.

Maya nodded right into Nick’s earlobe ow. “They all saw the commercial with me and wanna go.”

“Phoenix, my love, I believe we are outvoted.”

Phoenix was about to object… before his stomach growled. Also he really had to pee. “Fine… but I need to bathroom first.”

Maya jumped up from the bedside. “We’re going!!”

A chorus of bright, high voices rang out from just outside the bedroom door. It was shrill, and loud, and two in the morning, and even Hershel flinched a little at a full-volume Maya demanding everyone get their shoes on. At the very least, Maya finally vacated.

“Guess I’ll have to put pants on now,” Hershel mumbled into his pillow.

“There should be a law...” said Nick. “No pants between 11 p.m. and 4 a.m.”

But pants were worn, and even some trousers, and when the children gathered in a bunched mix of nightclothes and day clothes, Phoenix couldn’t even find it in his heart to argue it. Out they went into the chill of early early morning. London walks were never solitary, even in the early morning. Normally occupied by delivery drivers and shift workers, a family of nine half in pajamas stood out a bit in the street lamps. Layton pondered a bit as they strolled. Maya had taken her hair down, but stayed dressed. Alfendi had on pajama bottoms a size too short, but the shirt he had worn all day. Trucy was in her little nightgown, but her normal shoes. There was no real pattern to anyone’s dress, but they all had their little money purses and their new year’s allowances. He wondered, had there been a collective conspiracy in order to trek out for pot noodles in the night? Was it Maya’s influence, or her specific direction? Had the children organized?

No, that was impossible. How did one get a two year old into a coalition?

Promise her Zingers, possibly.

The 7-11 was very much within walking distance, a mercifully short trip. It was set into the corner of a street-level building, with lots of windows and a clean-looking interior. It was very new, wasn’t it?

Maya opened the automatic door for them with a flourish of her hand. “Welcome, everyone, to your future!”

Katrielle piped “Oo!” and clapped her little hands. Phoenix, who was carrying Katrielle in her not-so-little carrying pouch, was not so amused.

“Maya it’s a gas station.”

She was already waving in the children. “It’s a _convenience store_. You see any gas pumps? No!”

Pearl was so easily impressed by the modern world, even to this day. She took in a deep breath of the refrigerated air. “It smells so clean and wet in here!”

Luke had broken off from the pack, and he called out from behind a rack of boxes. “I think this is it!”

Maya gasped out loud and whipped around the corner, the rest of the children in tow.

Hershel tipped his hat to the quiet counter clerk. “Pardon our enthusiasm. We won’t be long.”

The clerk said nothing. It didn’t bode well.


	2. Cabbage is Evil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Out of all the flavors, why kimchi?

“Okay, ramen needs three major toppings...” Maya reasoned as she seasoned. “The veggie, the meat, and an egg. You’ve got the egg.”

Trucy nodded and held up the vacuum-sealed boiled egg. “I’ve got the egg!”

“And Flora’s got the meat.”

“I think I do?” Flora weighed her options. “They have individual slices of ham and turkey, but we could get meat sticks from the snacks aisle and use that instead. It has more flavor...”

“Don’t do that.”

Maya pouted at the newest cook in the kitchen. “You’re not part of this experiment, Al.”

Alfendi sipped at his Slurpee. “You should know not to listen to Flora’s cooking advice, Auntie Maya.”

“It’s Maya-nee-san!” corrected Trucy.

“You’re being very rude!” said Flora.

“And narrow-minded!” said Maya. “You don’t know! Maybe Slim Jim ramen would be delicious! Trucy, doesn’t that sound delicious?”

Trucy, bored, had opened up the package of noodles and sniffed them. “You got cabbage flavor.”

“Ladies have to learn to like kimchi.”

“Cabbage is gross and so are Slim Jims.”

Alfendi took out his Slurpee straw to take a long drag of slush from the tip. “Oh, would you look at that. I’m right. Again.”

Flora gasped. “Oh wait! What if we put coffee in the ramen so it didn’t taste like cabbage anymore?”

Trucy blanched. “You’re making my mouth taste bad.”

Hershel passed by the little group, scanning the shelves for light bulbs. “Alfi, that had better not be a cola.”

Alfendi tipped the cup his way. “I got blue, Dad. No caffeine.”

“Good lad. Maya, are you done yet?”

“Nope!” Maya chirped. “Me and the girls are brainstorming!”

Trucy wondered out loud. “Do you need a veggie topping if your noodles are veggie flavored?”

Flora made a little thinking sound. “Maybe we could put barbeque crisps in it and have meat and veg in one topping.”

Hershel sighed. “Maya, I am putting responsibility on you to keep the washroom clean should this all go belly-up by night’s end.”

Maya pointed in protest. “Objection! The night’s already ended!”

Hershel remained steadfast. “I will not be outdone by nitpicking technicalities.”

Trucy tugged at the hem of the professor’s coat. “Hat Daddy, you agree cabbage is gross, right?”

“I’m actually fond of it in some dishes, Trucy,” he relented. “Why? Is Auntie Maya forcing you to eat it?”

“Maya-nee-san!”

“Oh right!” Trucy chirped. “I don’t have to eat it at all! You put in a much coffee as you wanna, Auntie-nee-san!”

“Perhaps...” Hershel started to step away. “Now is a good time to leave this conversation.”

“I’m staying,” said Alfendi. He took another long drag of slush. “This train will crash, and I won’t miss it for all the cola in the shop.”


	3. Polished Steel Tables are Evil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke and Pearl are so tired the world doesn't make sense anymore.

Electricity had no matter. It was a thing that only existed in how it changed things, and yet, it could make light just by moving through metal. Not air, though. Unless it was lightning.

Luke was very tired.

So was Pearl, but Pearl thought different when she was sleepy. “Instead of dating in big groups, people should go on matched vacations.”

Luke picked up his head from the brushed steel table. “… wot?”

Pearl, just as sleepy as him, selected to keep her head folded up in her arms. “In the romantic stories, people always fall in love when they stay in a cabin with only one bed. They should make vacations like that.”

Luke’s first instinct was to tell her that was silly and people didn’t fall in love just from sharing a bed in a cabin… but then he remembered the professor and Phoenix. It made him think. “Yeah… they could match everybody up by personality or hobbies...”

Pearl yawned dreamily. “It would be so romantic. A cold cabin and a warm bed with a handsome stranger...”

Luke put his head back down. “It being a stranger makes it kind of creepy...”

“Oh, yes, that is a little bad...”

With a noisy clang of metal against floor, Flora pulled up a chair and sat. “Maya is cooking the noodles now. Do you want to see?”

“Naw,” said Luke, “Pearl and I are talking about how vacations with strangers aren’t romantic.”

“They could be, though!” Pearl protested. “If they were matched well.”

Flora thought a moment. “Oh they have those! It’s usually cruise ships, so everyone already has their own room.”

That made much more sense, Luke thought.

Pearl asked, “But where do they put the fireplace with the bear skin rug?”

And then it didn’t make sense. Luke woke up a little just to stare. “What kind of ‘romantic stories’ are you reading?”

“This is what happens when you live in a village of all women,” Flora sagely summarized. “They go insular and start growing all these scenarios.”

Luke fired right back. “Don’t you live in an all-women’s dormitory?”

“That’s how I know,” she replied.

In their sleep-addled haze, Phoenix seemed to appear out of thin air. Really he was probably pacing the store trying to get Katrielle to sleep. “Hey, guys, I can hear you talking from the bathrooms. Flora, maybe stop teaching the kids about hook-up cruises before they’re old enough to vote, okay?”

Luke put his head down. “Pearl started it. It was thinking about light bulbs.”

“You could have been asleep at home, but noooo...” Phoenix teased. “Just had to see the ramen machine and then fall asleep the second Maya starts using it.”

Flora leaned back until her chair was on its back legs, steadying herself with the bottom of the table. “The machine is much less interesting when it’s not making your own food.”

“You’re not hungry?”

“I had oden.”

Luke lifted his head back up. His cheek was cold. “So did I.”

Pearl nodded. “I did too.”

From across the store, Maya made such a frustrated noise. “OH my GOD I could have put oden broth in the ramen!! AAGH!”

“Maya, volume!” wailed Phoenix.

Katrielle woke up enough to fuss her finger. “Maya!” The rest of her burbles were in the sort of cadence that meant she was fussing again. Phoenix worked her little fists into a point and shook it in Maya’s direction.

“That’s right!” he encouraged. “That’s a bad Maya, being loud!”

“This is harassment!”

“This is tiring...” whispered Flora.

“This isn’t as fun as Maya made it sound,” Pearl barely spoke, as if it was some kind of dangerous conspiracy.

Luke didn’t want to move, but he had to use the toilet.


	4. Pockets are Evil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Impromptu magic time!

“Daddy, Daddy!” Trucy put her candy bar down on the counter by the clerk. “Look at this!”

Phoenix would have been more accommodating of Trucy’s little whim if she hadn’t put her candy bar down on top of another person’s pack of toilet paper. Phoenix rushed to Trucy’s side, Katrielle tucked into his arm. “Trucy!! Honey, let the man pay for his things first!”

“But I had to! We’re getting the same stuff! Look!”

“Ooh, I know that voice!” Maya sidled up on the other side, balancing her big noodle bowl in her off hand and eating with the other. “Time for a show!”

“See? He’s getting toilet paper, right?” Trucy rolled back her nightgown sleeves and spun her empty hat on her finger, flipped it upside down, and pulled an identical pack of toilet paper out of it. “So am I!”

The clerk made a noise that might have been a laugh if they weren’t very tired on the late shift, while the customer startled and dropped down into a squat to look into her hat. Trucy, ever the professional, let him look inside and popped the bottom of the hat to show off just how empty it was. It gave the rest of the family time to gather round and settle into their places.

Hershel clapped politely. “Good show!”

“And he’s gonna get cigarettes, too!” Trucy flipped over the flat-on-the-counter pack of toilet paper, revealing a pack of cigarettes underneath that had surely not been there before. “I’m not gonna, though, ‘cause I don’t smoke.”

The clerk jumped and grabbed for the cigarettes, mystified that they were outside of their locked cabinet without his influence.

“You’d better not,” said Phoenix. “It’ll make you wrinkly.”

Katrielle pointed. “Bad bad!”

Phoenix encouraged that point. “Yes, bad cigarettes! No smoking!”

“Yeah! He should get what I’m getting!” Trucy reached up and opened the cigarettes, pulling out several packs of gum instead. “Hubba Bubba!”

Katrielle trilled. “Bubahah!”

Alfendi sipped at his drink. “That’s Trident.”

Trucy grabbed her candy bar and bopped the taller boy on the head. “You hush!”

The clerk and the customer were now both checking the inside of the cigarette box.

“In fact, you double hush! Because we’re both-” Trucy, with a flourish, pulled out two candy bars and drummed on Alfendi’s head with them. “Getting Twixes!”

The customer gasped and dug into his back pocket, pulling out a Twix and about $15 worth of loose lottery tickets. “HA! See, I-”

Phoenix assumed the lottery tickets, and the candy bar, had not been paid for yet by how quickly the customer went quiet, and how hard the clerk glared at him.

“Of course,” Trucy smirked. “I’m gonna pay for stuff too.”

“Gwoooah-hoa-hoah!” Maya laughed through her ramen. “Burn- ow ow my fingers ow actual burn ow!”

The customer left in a scramble, leaving behind everything that fell out of his pockets, and Trucy replaced her hat. “Heeheehee! Got ‘em.”

“Good job, Trucy.” Phoenix patted her hair. “Very nice. Now, let’s help the nice employee pick all this stuff up, okay?”


	5. Blue Raspberry is Evil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A fake and irresistable flavor, unless you're Professor Layton.

Hershel sighed. “Phoenix Wright, please tell me that is not a blue raspberry ice lolly.”

“Well...” Phoenix shyly held up the stick. “It isn’t anymore? Sorry...”

“Out of all the flavors on the shelf,” Hershel fussed. “You know I’m not fond of blue raspberry.”

Little Katrielle pointed at Phoenix. “Bad bad!”

“Agh!” Phoenix reeled dramatically and fell with his back to the freezer. Katrielle squealed in delight while she moved. “I’m betrayed! Ooh, the pain!”

Hershel stepped in to give Phoenix’s cheek a harmless, playful pinch. He smiled as Katrielle reached for him. “Don’t throw those dramatics at me. I will make sure you pay for your crimes.”

“I just couldn’t resist!” said Phoenix. “I kept seeing Al with them and just couldn’t help it.”

“My goodness, that’s almost two hours now. Surely he hasn’t been drinking the same cup of blue this entire time...” That got the professor’s suspicions up. Looking out, he saw Alfendi prowling the aisles, again with the blue slush visible from the top of the cup. He called out to the boy, feeling preemptively right when he flinched. “Alfendi Layton. How many of those have you had tonight?”

Alfendi fussed at his straw. “… this is the same cup I bought earlier.”

“And how many times have you refilled it?”

“Damn it!”

“ _Alfendi Layton_ come here this instant.”

Alfendi moped and groaned the whole five feet over to his father, but Layton took both the drink and the rest of his allowance in short order. “That’s quite enough of that.”

“But Father-”

“You will not be able to sleep solely from all the sugar at this rate.”

Phoenix righted himself back to his full height. “Hey can I uh… finish that?”

“Daaad!” Alfendi wailed. “That’s mine! Father, I spent my money on that! Don’t let him have it!”

“I’m afraid I’m in agreement with Alfendi in this regard,” said Hershel. “You know how I feel about blue raspberry.”

“What if I brush my teeth really good when I get home?” said Phoenix.

“Wait,” said Alfendi, “What does it matter him brushing his teeth when he gets home?”

Hershel answered simply. “I can’t explain it, to be frank. I simply don’t like the flavor.”

“But you’re not the one...” A realization came over Alfendi, almost in slow motion. “Wait… _No_...”

And slooowly, Phoenix stuck out a very, very blue tongue.

“AAAGH Flora!!!” Alfendi ran for her full speed. “Dad’s being mean to me!”

“Oh no!” Flora argued. “Don’t try to pull that card with me! I saw the whole thing and he’s doing nothing of the sort!”

“Yes he is!” Al countered. “He stuck his tongue out at me and he’s going to kiss Father with it, and he told me so!”

“Stop being such a baby!” Flora put her foot down. “Our fathers love each other and you’re going to have to deal with it!”

“But he took my slush!”

“Hey uuuh...” said the clerk. “I don’t remember you paying for any of those refills.”

Alfendi looked over at the laughing pair of parents over at the ice cream freezer and growled to himself. Now he had to go ask for his money back AND he had to know what they would be up to later tonight… maybe he should just let Phoenix have the rest of the slush to guarantee that they wouldn’t make out the rest of the night.


	6. Finally, Bedtime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay this is all.

“Hut-two-three-four, hut-two-three-four-” Phoenix opened the door for his family. “Shoes come off-at-the-door, everybody in-”

Luke was peeling off his hat and shoes before he even made it over the thresh hold. “I never want to see two in the morning again...”

“Or three in the morning...” Pearl yawned. “My teeth are all sticky...”

“What are you talking about?!” Maya chirped at the children. “That was an expedition worthy of history books! Why are you all tired? You buncha babies!”

“Everyone boy, downstairs bathroom,” Phoenix ordered. “Short girls to your bathroom, tall girls can borrow the master bathroom. Everybody brush your teeth.”

Trucy blindly ascended the stairs on all fours, eyes only open enough to tell light from shadow. “Tired...”

Flora hurried past her. “Hold on I need to get my hairbrush!”

“Alfi...” Hershel shook at the collapse lump of boy that had settled on the settee. “Alfi my boy, off to your bed.”

Alfendi made an offended noise and turned into the cushions. “Noooo...”

Hershel worked his hands under his son’s knees and shoulders until he could hoist him up. “Come along now, or you’ll regret it in the morning.”

“Regret is the sign of true adventure!” Maya said behind him. “Let the boy sleep on the couch! Maya-nee-san’s here! Break from tradition!”

Phoenix nudged her from behind. “Maya if you wake up Katrielle I swear-”

Wiggling past them with a son in his arms, Hershel made his way to the washroom where Luke was just finishing brushing his teeth. “Perhaps she simply has jet lag, Phoenix.”

Phoenix huffed. “ _Terminal_ jet lag if she keeps this up.”

Flora peeked downstairs. “Phoenix, Trucy wants water before bed.”

“That’s okay,” Phoenix called up. “Everyone can have some water and I’ll wake you all up at nine.”

The stairs thumped with just enough feet to wake up Alfendi. They were just staggered enough to get their water without crowing the kitchen sink, all while Maya protested.

“But I’m not tired yet! How can all of you be sleepy already? You’re literal children!” Maya threw couch cushions about looking for the remote. “Let me see if there’s more H.R. Pufnstuff! Look-” Her frantic button pushes resulted in nothing. “What- Nick! Your TV is broken!”

“Huh.” Phoenix surreptuously shut the door to the breaker box behind him. “Weird. We’ll worry about it in the morning.”

“But it _is_ morning!”

Trucy reached up and grabbed onto Maya’s arm with both hands and her entire weight, and started marching her up the stairs. “Auntie-nee-san sleeps in my bed tonight...”

“But-”

Pearl was quick on grabbing the other arm. “Join us, Mystic Maya...”

“Ah! Here.” Hershel dropped Alfendi onto Maya’s back. He automatically clung not unlike a sloth. “You can bring him up while you’re at it.”

Maya, unable to free herself from her various sort-of nephews and nieces, glared at Phoenix and Hershel the whole way up the stairs. “This is coercion!”

Hershel waved sweetly. “This is bedtime, Maya.”

Phoenix blew her a kiss. “Night, kids! Remember, nine in the morning!”

Phoenix and Hershel stayed downstairs brushing their own teeth and tongues until the upstairs noises ceased. They could barely bring themselves to move until they were sure, and even checked before putting Katrielle in her crib: Maya was dead asleep by the time they put Kat down and returned to their own bed. Phoenix even made sure to turn the living room breaker back on, but to be safe, he unplugged the television and put the cord under his pillow before bed.

“So am I in the clear?” he asked.

Hershel shook his head. “The only thing worse than blue raspberry is the taste of toothpaste on top of it. I appreciate your tenacity, though.”

“Aw.”

“Until morning, Phoenix.”

“Good night, Hershel.”

His dream clock read 6:35 a.m. later in his sleep, and to his utter relief, he could ignore it and go right back to dreaming. Granted, his dreams were tinted with flourescent lights and tasted like blue, but at least he knew he would wake up in his own bed in his own house that morning.


End file.
